Gwen was an older black woman, I think older than my sister. I came to know of her whenever I was around 10 or 11 If I remember correctly. She was, however, different from the other adults I knew because all of the adults around me were straight. Lesbianism gave Gwen a sort of supernatural power in my young mind: she was able to transcend the wants and desires of men. By that age, I was already experiencing men making comments about my budding body. These experiences made me feel more adult than I truly was.
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Online dating as a lesbian, for the most part, still involves having to deal with straight people. The heteronormative weirdness got so alienating that lesbians began turning to TikTok as a means of meeting other single lesbians — turns out, it's a damn good matchmaker. But it's unrealistic to expect a social media app to work like a dating app for everyone.
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It's not exactly an earth-shattering statement to acknowledge that dating isn't easy. Especially as adults, we've basically got four options. You can post up in a nearby bar and keep your eyes open for a gal or nonbinary person who strikes your fancy. You could ask your friends to set you up with one of their friends. But in this age of living most of our lives through screens, many queer singles are picking up their phones and swiping away to find a new partner.
