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I feel selfish to never be around but this is my dream so much so that I refuse to have children because I dont want my kids to have a workaholic mother who's never there. Try a variety of dates. If you can't do that, realizing that your partner may never come around to your side of things, you are not ready to marry this person. You can feel it in your bones. I am coming to the belief that the quality individuals in medicine are the self and family sacrificing ones, truly dedicated to their profession. I actually had one of my friends say to me, " why are you worried about what he is doing when you aren't there he spends hundreds of dollars on you when you are there who cares that he hasn't texted you". The most important thing is an open dialogue, as you say, and utmost respect for the other person.
Her Religion is the single most important thing in her life. Despite whatever may come our way, this relationship is the most important and even though it's forever it needs to be nourished. Even though we don't have kids I know the feeling of spending my Mrs Doctor life alone. You just have to decide if the payoff is worth it. It does kick your butt!. I'm on the same page as you.